“Well,”
I start at last. “What’s there left to say?
I’ve got to agree with Zeke. Of course I need a few drinks
before I can say it out loud, but… I love you
guys.” I swallow hard. It is true,
in every sense. Individually
I like each one of them—and some I like very
much—but as a group, as my crew, I’m head over
heels in love with them. “It’s going to break my
freakin’ heart to leave you.” My voice crumbles and
as I look down, clearing my throat, Ed pats my thigh and Jon squeezes
my hand. I laugh to cover my discomfort, coming out almost without
thinking with the giggled line, “If you knew what I wanted to
do to you guys…”
There’s a shift in the room, a holding of
breath as they refocus. Maybe I have had too much to drink after all.
The urge to confess is way too strong.
“If we knew…?” prompts
Murray, tipping his chair back.
I snigger into the back of my hand.
“You’d be shocked.” I can feel their eyes
fixed on me.
“I bet I wouldn’t be.”
“Well, obviously not you, Murray. Nothing
could possibly shock you.” Now I can feel my cheeks glowing.
“Do go on, Coxey. I think we’re all
interested in hearing more.” There are grins and nods and
mutters of encouragement.
“Um.” I giggle again. This is
ridiculous, really. In the boat I’m all mouth, garrulous and
articulate. Now I’m as tongue-tied as a fresher at her first
tutorial. “You know…”
“Uh?”
“Mmm,” I squeak despairingly,
rolling my eyes, letting my shame speak for itself.
“Seriously?” asks Fergus, with a
crooked grin. He’s got a face as ugly-cute as a baby
calf’s.
“Hell, Jo,” smirks Jon, scratching
his throat.
“Hey,” says Nils, “the
door is locked. We have all night.”
Plot: Non-supernatural. Joanna is a postgraduate researcher at a British university, where she is coxswain for the top Men's Eight rowing crew. The story opens with them winning a national championship. Jo is about to leave the university and take up a job elsewhere: she is emtionally torn because this means leaving her team forever, and she is in love with the group. She's always kept her relationship with the individual men strictly platonic until now. But on their final night together she confesses that she fantasises about them all. And they choose to make all her dreams come true in a farewell night that none of them will ever forget...
Sexual Themes: One small slight woman, eight strapping muscular men.
Notes: This was my first story for Ellora's Cave. It's a long short story or a short novella.
I wanted to write a story about a lone woman in a tight-knit group of men, and rowing seemed the perfect solution. It brings to the table the fierce camaraderie of a competitive sport and the physical power and beauty of athletic men, but the female cox is one of the team, neither competing against the men nor potentially a weak link. Her small physical stature is a positive advantage for the team, and has to be matched with a big, assertive personality. This isn't a story where the woman is the outsider, or threatened in any way . It's a story about friendship and love ... and group sex, of course. Jo and the guys are in an intense, mutally respectful, protective relationship. I've written other gangbang stories where the emphasis has been on BDSM aspects, but this isn't one one of them.
Actually, In Appreciation of Their Cox started off as a short story for Black Lace, but fell victim to their decision to freeze the line in 2010. At 10,000 words it was way longer than the target wordcount for a Black Lace short, but e-publishers like you to write longer and 10K counts as a "quickie" at Ellora's Cave. I subbed it by e-mail at 5.30pm on a Friday afternoon. I had an offer to publish by Sunday evening - which just goes to show that e-publishing is a faster business and that editors work weekends.
My EC editor decided that the story should have a glossary of rowing terms at the beginning, and put in a useful illustration. I also had to slightly americanise the text (without losing the UK setting) and learn the EC sexual vocabulary, which differs markedly from the BL one! This is my first publication where I was asked what should be on the cover art.
Althought the university is un-named in the text, the setting is Durham University in the north of England, which I studied at many years ago. Durham is a tiny little city with a unique geography and an overwhelming student culture. But I wasn't in the rowing crowd when I was a student - they were notoriously fanatical about their sport and would get up insanely early, whereas I was in the basement playing Dungeons & Dragons instead - so all the rowing stuff is the result of more recent research. And some happy mornings dog-walking by the river, in the city where I now live, watching the rowing crews of a different university plying up and down. It's good to have an excuse to stare :-)
There's a fair amount of nostalgia in this tale. It had taken me many years to get over the "I wish I was back at Durham" phase - (I am over it now!) - and I drew upon strong memories of the power of those close-knit, isolated communities with their intense emotional relationships.
Keeping a track throughout the action of eight men with different physical characteristics and personalities, was a challenge - but fun!
This is one of those stories I just loved writing, from start to finish.
Buy the e-story direct from Ellora's Cave
